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 Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts

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Terminique

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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:52 pm

alright then,

Whats green and isnt there?


No cabbage.
Very Happy
(sorry, I likes that Very Happy)

heres a silly link regarding Quantum Mechanics,
Like a Star @ heaven
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Wed Nov 18, 2009 8:53 pm

Doug lampchest

Wink
MST3K thing

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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Wed Nov 18, 2009 9:04 pm

Two old ladies are sitting around bored at the retirement home.
"What ya wanna do today?" asks one
"Let's go steakin" says the other.
What's streakin?
"All the kids are doin it" the other replies "you take your clothes off and run by some people."
"All right, we can run around the outside of the home" the first agrees.
And off they go...

Two elderly men are sitting on the front porch as the ladies go running by.
"Ed?" asks one "What was them gals that just run by wearin?"
"I dunno", replies Ed, "but it could sure could use some ironin'
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Wed Nov 18, 2009 10:43 pm

Laughing
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:16 pm

So a guy goes in for his check-up, and the doctor comes in with his test results.
"I am sorry to say that you don't have long to live" says the doc.
"Well... OK... how long do I have?" asks the man.
"10" says the Dr.
"Ten? Ten what? Years, months?" the man asks nervously.
"9"...
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Fri Nov 20, 2009 11:25 pm

LOL...
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Fri Dec 04, 2009 4:50 pm

its sunday afternoon.
a priest is doing is usual with the confessions.
but as the time passes, the priest really needed to use the rest room.
the man in the other confessional booth is going on and about random things and the priest couldnt hold it any longer so he cracked open his door to see if anyone was around.
lo and behold, the janitor was sweeping the floors about 10 feet away.

"pst... pst!!!" the priest signaled the janitor over.
"i really have to go to the bathroom but this guy in here wont shut up, will you sit in here for a few minutes and just look at the list of sins i have up on the wall and tell him to say however many 'our father's' and 'hail marry's' accordingly."

so the janitor hops into the confessional and listens to the man ramble on.
he informed the man of how many our father's and hail marry's to say accordingly to each sin he mentioned.
and just as the man was near the end of his confession, he admitted to having anal sex with another man...
confused, the janitor skimmed through the list and couldnt find anything about anal sex and how many our fathers and hail marrys the man should say. so he cracked open his door to see who was around. just then, an altar boy was passing by....

"pst... pst!!" the janitor signaled and the altar boy walked over.
the janitor whispered,
"i was looking through fathers list but i cant anything about anal sex, what does the father usually give??"

the altar boy answered back....

"a peice of candy."

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Rudas Starblaze
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Fri Jan 01, 2010 5:33 pm

3 scientists went down to the amazon to research a very rare bird known as the Phoo bird.

after 2 weeks of searching, they finally found one and its nest.

they decided they should check out the eggs and get pictures, measurements, weights, etc etc.

so one scientist volunteered to climb the tree with a camera and all the equipment they needed to record what they had found.

as the first scientist was just starting to take some pictures, the momma Phoo bird dive bombed him and of course dumped her load on him as well.

he scurries down the tree and they head back to camp so he can warsh off and share his findings with the other 2 scientists.

the next day, he was dead...

so the other two scientists decided they needed to finish up the research and went back to the nest.

again, one of them climbs the tree with the necessary equipment. and again the momma Phoo bird dive bombed and again shat on him too.

so back to camp they go so the second scientist could warsh up and share his findings.

the next day, he was dead....

the last scientist thought to himself, "this is all odd.... but i have to finish up the research.

so he goes to the tree with the equipment, climbs, starts logging all the info and was dive bombed by the momma Phoo bird as well. but instead of scurrying down the tree, he continued to log his findings until he was done.

he then climbed down the tree, went back to camp, packed up and left with all the research and decided not to bother warshing off.

the moral of the story is:

if the Phoo shits, wear it.

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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Sat Jan 02, 2010 12:07 am

random funny thought from 5th grade.

my 5th grade teacher was a cool guy, sadistic, but cool (and was also my neighbor out in the country).

one day during health class he said to the class:

"do you wanna know how to lose 20bls fast?"

of course the class said: "yes!"

he said:

"go home and cut your heads off."

Laughing Rolling On The Floor ROTFLMAO

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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Sat Jan 02, 2010 1:19 pm

Never feed the kittens while you are naked.
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Sun Jan 03, 2010 2:04 pm

You have to be careful about how you give a woman a compliment...
My wife got her hair cut, went from shoulder length to just covering her ears.
I said, "Sweetheart, you look great! That haircut takes years off your looks!"
... Damn woman went and shaved her head.
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PostSubject: Re: Lame Jokes & random funny thoughts   Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:42 pm

LMFAO!
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