MLIA gems

Which ones make you laugh?

Quote :

Today my drama class was doing an improv assignment where we had to pretend we were at a family reunion. I was the severely pregnant aunt, and at one point went to go use the washroom. When I walked in, a bunch of eighth graders were there and stared at my stomach in horror. Instead of telling them that the belly was fake, I just said, "wait a few years, you'll be knocked up too" and continued on like normal. I sincerely think I scared them into never having sex. MLIA.

http://mylifeisaverage.com

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Today, I was at the airport with my boyfriend. At the check-in desk, the guy asked us our reason for travelling. My boyfriend replied "We're going to have sex." The employee ticked the 'pleasure' box. My boyfriend saw this and said "Well it's business really, I have to pay her this time." I played along. MLIA

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Today, while being bored, I decided to translate phrases into French, then back to English. Turns out 'Give me the taco before I explode' translated this way becomes 'Give me the stuffed pancake of corn before I blow up'. I like this new way of saying taco. I shan't be bored again for a while. MLIA

I've been known to play with babelfish this way, as well.

ok LOL! this is a funny site!!!

I totally needed a laughing break

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Today, I printed out a recipe of the internet for making bacon cookies. Halfway through cooking, I realized that step 5 was "Beat it like it owes you money." Thank you, mysterious cookie-pimp, for making my day. MLIA

cookie pimp hahaha


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Quote :

Today, I died from not passing on a chain mail. This is the 117th time this has happened. MLIA.

Hmm. This would be a fun email signature.

LOL I saw that one, a couple of us took a short break and read thru a bunch of them -- good find! lol



t

SOOOOO much better than FML! Thank you!

Quote :

i was at a ballet recital with my friend, sitting between her and the mother of the head male ballerina. When he came on stage in obscenely tight white tights I whispered to my friend, "You can see his whole freaking package!" I'd whispered to the wrong side.

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Today, I walked into what I thought was the girl's bathroom (I'm a girl). As I was heading toward a stall, I saw a guy walk into another stall nearby. I quickly forgot how badly I had to go and ran out of the bathroom. I casually glanced to make sure I had gone into the right bathroom. I had. MLIA.

Funny thing about this one is that we have a woman coworker who looks like a guy, and a several months back we went to a conference. I went to go to the restroom and one of the receptionists was at the door telling people they shouldn't go in because there was a guy in there. I wait a while at some distance and the coworker comes walking out, at which point the receptionist goes on her way and everyone else goes into the restroom....

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Today I was watching CSI and one of the characters was saying how mature one of the girls was acting. One of the other characters then comments that you won't find anyone like that on the Twilight message boards. Even CSI will make fun of the Twilight fans. MLIA

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My Grandma is sleeping in my room while she house sits for us next week. Seeing as she is notorious for seeking out and reading people diaries, I have written a fake one, full of entries about how I joined the schools drug ring, shoplift, drink and steal from my parents. I am leavin it under my pillow. I can't wait for mum to get a call about what my granma has 'found out'.

*Gets ideas*

And as for me:

Today, while working on the computer, I set one of the slides on the narrow ledge the frame of the monitor makes in order to better see the label. I soon realized it was in the way of an icon I needed to click. I attempted to move the slide out of the way with the mouse. For some reason, this failed. MLIA

You had a cluster fuck on your hands KK. Don't you just love technology? I know you do.