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 Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them

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Quixotically Yours

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PostSubject: Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them   Mon Dec 28, 2009 10:08 pm

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
cheese in the trap.
- Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
- Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand.
- OK, so what's the speed of dark?
- When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
- Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
- Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- He who laughs last thinks slowest.
- Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
- Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
- Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
- If I promise not to kill you...can I have a hug?
- I have the heart of a child...it's in a jar on my desk
- Bother me and die...thank you
- Do not walk behind me, for I may lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
- Never test the depth of water with both feet.
- Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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Rudas Starblaze
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PostSubject: Re: Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them   Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:01 pm

"it dont make a fuck!" ~Jason Bast~ (his drunkened version of "it doesnt matter".)

"if it doesnt matter who wins or loses, but how you play the game? then why do they keep score!?" ~cant remember~

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Kat

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PostSubject: Re: Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them   Sun Jan 03, 2010 4:47 pm

Laughing
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Quixotically Yours

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PostSubject: Re: Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them   Tue Jan 05, 2010 4:37 am

I know that if I were fucking omnipotent, I wouldn't give a damn if I was being worshipped.

I probably wouldn't even know the insignificant mortals worshipping me existed:

"What the fuck? I leave the dishes for a few days and I've got this weird carbon-based life growing on it!"

"Waitaminute... are they--are they bowing?"~Sunrider


classic! Rolling On The Floor
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Here are some funny quotes. Though I can't take credit for any of them
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