The Philisophy of Love pt. 2

thought of this one while i was in the shower earlier.

well, if you thought the last one made you think....
try this one!!

the difference between "want" and "need".

im sure everyone has heard the phrase, "you dont want me, you just need me" in a break-up scenario.

but!! heres the kicker!! what a person wants and what a person needs are two very different things! anyone who is a parent can testify to this. hell, anyone with a pulse and 1/10th of a brain knows this.

and the same goes with relationships.

if you only think a person should want you. then it means you are disposable. replaceable. not a necessity but a luxary. simple as. no questions asked. you are no different than a 10 year old playstation1 or a mcdonalds happy meal toy from yesterday. and in my opinion, thats rather disturbing.... id rather have an SO who needs me for atleast SOMETHING!! something that hopefully nobody else can offer.

"wanting" is like wishing in one hand and shitting in the other and seeing which one fills up faster.

"needing" is like more honest and real. it is a necessity of life.

now, if youre one of those stupid types who has an SO who does nothing.... as in:

they dont have a job.
they dont do anything around the house.
they dont take care of the kids (if you have kids)
they spend all your money.
they dont fix anything that needs fixed (in material terms; sink, lightbulbs, toilet, car, etc, etc, etc.)
and they dont even give you a peice of ass.

if they do all of those things,
THEN you can say they're "needy".

if thats not the case, then grow the fuck you spoiled rotten bastards/bitches who complain about someone "needing" you. take it as a compliment for fucks sakes and think about someone other than yourself. if someone "needs" you, then you are obviously important to them. if they "want" you, it means youre only temporarily important to them. get the hint!? or not?

Ok I'll bite... Well you knew I would didn't you!

I think in reality in most relationships both partners have a mixture of needs and wants met by their SO. Both can be important but probably it is a healthy balance of the two things that make a relationship work.

Now if the balance is more stacked up in terms of need, what do I (should I) feel? Yes, if my partner needs me it is clear that I play an important part in his life in terms of providing something. Now that need might be permanent but it doesn't actually mean that I am the only one who can provide it. At any point in time either myself or my partner could realize that there is somebody else better suited to meeting his needs. In such a case I would feel rather insecure; and frankly I don't want to be in a relationship which is based mainly on the fact that I conveniently fill a niche or hole in the other person's life.

If on the other hand our relationship is based mainly on the fact that he "wants" me, it gives me the feeling that he wants (loves) me for myself and not for any particular function I might be able to play in his life. Now his wanting or love might of course change over time, that's life; but there is still the possibility that we could grow together and want to be together independent of what needs we have.

Now, as I said before, I think in reality relationships are based on meeting a combination of each other's wants and needs. However, if the balance has to be skewed one way or the other, I would prefer my partner to err on the side of wanting me rather than needing me.